


Bucky Knew

by SmeagolMyNeagol



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional, F/M, Loss, M/M, Sad, contains spoilers for endgame, deppressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 17:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18832933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmeagolMyNeagol/pseuds/SmeagolMyNeagol
Summary: Bucky said goodbye to Steve like he knew.He knew Steve was going to go back.He knew, but what Bucky wanted, more than anything in the world, was for his truest friend to be happy.He was allowed to be sad about it, though.





	Bucky Knew

**Author's Note:**

> On the one hand, I wanted Steve to be happy. But didn't he make a place of belonging in the new world? Why did he have to go back? I suppose it was his greatest desire to be with the right partner, but Bucky deserved more. The world needs Captain America, and not just that, the world needs Steve Rogers.

Bucky knew where Steve was going. Of course he would go back. Go back to stay. Things were still somewhat scrambled in his head after Hydra. He was kept for _years,_ subjected to memory wipes not only for their intended purpose of suppressing his memories, but also as punishment, hell, sometimes just for the enjoyment of his handlers.

But his mind wasn’t so far gone that he forgot what Steve was like. Steve falling for someone was nearly as important to Bucky as himself falling for someone, that’s how close they were. It was one of the first things he remembered after his healing began in Wakanda.

Steve never got to spend his life with the right partner. Bucky knew. He knew.

So that’s why, when the team was tasked with bringing back the stones to their respective times, Bucky knew immediately why Steve volunteered.

He was going back to his time, and he was leaving Bucky.

The realization hit him like a punch to the chest, but he kept quiet.

There was nothing he could do to convince him, surely, and what’s more, Bucky didn’t want to convince him to stay. His heart clenched in his chest as Steve approached him after saying farewell to Sam.

“I’m really gonna miss you.” It was painful trying to keep the lilt out of his voice. It would do Steve no good for him to start breaking down now, exposing his plan to Sam and Bruce.

Steve just smiled, a levity to his gaze, “its gonna be okay, Buck.”

And just like that, he was gone. Bucky imagined his greatest friend’s life, how it must have played out. He could picture the two of them, that beautiful dame in the red lipstick, and Steve, finally where he was meant to be.

And for just a moment, Bucky felt anger. Only… it wasn’t anger; it was tinged with something else. Sadness. Loss. Grief.

In the quiet moments after Steve left, he felt a tremendous weight on his chest.

Didn’t Steve belong here, too? Hadn’t he carved out a perfect place for himself in this new world? How could he just leave?

Bucky knew. He knew.

But still. The world needed Steve. This world needed Steve.

Bucky needed Steve. He felt betrayal at the loss. Weren’t they supposed to be together ‘til the end of the line? Was this… the end of the line?

Bucky couldn’t blame him. He really couldn’t. Which is why he felt frustration and self-hatred well up inside him at his previous selfish emotions.

Steve deserved the world, _any_ world he wanted. Bucky knew this.

He knew.

He turned away from Sam and Bruce, face cracking at the swell of conflicting emotions rising in his chest, threatening to overflow onto his face.

The small figure near the bench at the water was somehow immediately recognizable, but he couldn’t bear to greet him first.

He tried to quell the sense of loss, but as he gazed at his withered old friend, he found he could barely contain it.

No more would they be able to be together like they were. An old man a good avenger did not make. Steve had gone off and lived his life without Bucky.

And Bucky was happy it was a beautiful one. Steve deserved that; Bucky knew.

He knew. But still... he was sad.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this. I was listening to Clair De Lune and crying while writing this.


End file.
